The One Question As A Female Solo Traveler That You Should Only Answer In a Hostel
Have Your Guard Up Around This Question While Solo Traveling
As a solo traveler staying in hostels, you will commonly find yourself being asked “are you solo traveling?” This is a completely normal and frequently asked question inside of hostels as it is a conversation starter that leads into other conversations, and also a way for solo travelers to find other solo travelers to meet and explore with. However, this is a question that you want to be very cautious of answering outside of the hostel environment, especially as a female solo traveler. Of course, there are some other exceptions as well. Walking tours, hikes, and some public transportation are other ways solo travelers will meet each other, and so it is a common question to be asked in these environments as a way to meet other people, but you just always want to be cautious. I met several friends while hiking places, on these walking tours, and on public transportation, and most if not all of them asked if I was solo traveling within the first couple minutes of conversation. All of these people were other female solo travelers who were my same age so I felt comfortable, and ended up making friends out of it! It is just important to trust your gut in these situations, I felt safe and it was totally fine, but you want to obviously always be cautious of people who you don’t know asking you this question pretty early on. Being alone in a foreign country can obviously leave you vulnerable, so you want to just be cautious, and you don’t want to freely hand out that information out to strangers.
When I was on the island of Korcula I took a day trip taxi boat to the nearby really small islands. On one of these islands I was walking on a pathway and some guy started talking to me and literally his second question was something along the lines of if I was alone. Instantly I had a weird feeling and I told him that my friend was over at the restaurant and that I wasn’t traveling alone. He proceeded to ask me where I was staying and saying “what hotel are you staying at? I might know it, I grew up here.” Considering he just jumped right into where I was staying and not much else, it was an immediate red flag for me and I said that I didn’t remember the name of it. He later asked if I was coming back next summer (after we had hardly talked and I wasn’t offering much back like what?) I of course, lied as much as possible about someone else traveling with me and where I was staying and then took the next taxi boat back to my hostel. He probably didn’t mean any harm by it and was just a little awkward, but these are the things you want to be cautious of as a solo female traveler.
Also, I want to point out the difference between someone you meet and you’re really vibing with and getting along with where these questions are pretty common and natural and someone who seems to just be asking for personal information right away. Because if you are meeting someone, things like “oh what area are you staying in” and “are you traveling with friends or alone” are pretty common, it all depends on the context and your own gut. There are other times when you aren’t offering a whole lot back to the conversation and the questions are just kinda awkward and personal for a conversation that hasn’t been super friendly (which was my situation). So, other female travelers, just lean into your gut and assess the situation!
This post is not meant to scare or deter anyone from solo traveling (that is quite literally the opposite of the point of this blog and page), but is one of my main questions I would want anyone to be aware of before solo traveling. I want everyone to feel safe solo traveling, and by being prepared for some of these questions I hope it gives people the confidence to feel prepared while still staying safe : )
Pictured: Me and Thalia from the Netherlands hiking Plitvice Lakes National Park together. Her first question was if I was solo traveling as well. Although it is a question to be cautious of outside of a hostel, I didn’t feel unsafe, but it is always good to trust your gut and be cautious if you feel uncomfortable.
Always remember that you don’t owe anyone anything. Do whatever necessary to have watch over your back, because as a solo traveler, no one else is going to do that for you. There’s plenty of really cool people like Thalia that you might meet as a result of this question, but you just need to trust your gut and feel things out using your best judgement. Also, there are different degrees to where this question might be asked. A busy national park like Plitvice where there are lots of other people and park employees is pretty safe. A national park/hike that is a lot less busy with few people on it? A little more risky if someone were to be asking if you’re alone. A bar? Definitely a riskier place to be telling people you are traveling alone. The good thing about being out at a bar is that (hopefully) you are out with some new hostel friends so you can tell people you are with them and that eliminates them being able to tell you are alone or asking you about it.
Just remember to feel out the situation, the person, and always have some lies in the back pocket to tell anyone who is giving you weird vibes, so that they don’t know that you are alone.
- Lauren
